By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
