dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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