friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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