Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
