Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize