yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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