She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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