Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
