I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
