Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
