Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
