I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
