I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
