omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
