Four minutes until I can fart!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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