Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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