question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
