Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
