No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
