how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
