ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
