It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
FUCK WHALES
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
