So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
