i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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