I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
