bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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