yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
