Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
