NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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