he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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