My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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