are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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