Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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