flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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