His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think people are normalizing furries
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
