Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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