i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i think my cat just said my name.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
