marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
