Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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