I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
