What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
