matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
