I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
