Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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