So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
