Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
