We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
