I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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