I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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