FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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