just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
