girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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