I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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