Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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