Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
