Nicole vs. Life
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
