you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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