my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
