So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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