We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
