I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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