he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize