i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
