It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
