Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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