office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
