I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
